Ugh :'( upset

I dont know whats wrong with me. I feel so upset and have been fighting with dh constantly. Worst part was hearing "you dont make me happy". I've been so upset lately Idk how to even make myself happy. I've fallen into depression before and I'm afraid of going back...but I feel like I'm already there. Its a horrible feeling knowing that you are loved but not feeling it. I know my dh loves me. But he doesnt understand how I'm so emotional. How the struggles of losing parents and a child affect my mind. My mc was 3 years ago. My mother passed away when I was 16 and my dad when I was 1 year old. I guess I'm not over the heartbreak? sorry for the vent....