help me

my husband just pushed me to the ground because I turned the light on for 3 seconds while he was asleep, I landed on a bunch of boxes and it hurt. he says it's all my fault, it's like the 5th time he either pushes or hits me etc. I want to leave but why can't I have the guts to do it? why do I feel like I won't find anyone? he also abuses me emotionally over and over. I'm just sitting on the floor crying not knowing what to do.