My magnum opus.....

I have been trying ttc for 2yrs now. I feel so in tune with my body, i can feel when I ovulate, i know when "It's time"... But I am tired of imagining how glorious the feeling will be to see those two lines, i am tired of imagining how I would tell everyone , tired of imagining the feel of my baby's kick. I am tired of being strong. The looks I get are so pitiful and the wispiers as I walk away, "did you know she's been trying to get pregnant for over 2 years now?" I can't take it anymore. The whole thing has consumed my life, and my husband's...and it's not fair. 3 of my friends are pregnant and go figure, none of them plan ed it. the 15yr old of the ladies house I clean just found out today she is pregnant. why is it so dam hard to have what comes so easy to litterly everyone around me. I know it's not rational, or logicical but i want a baby so bad I am considering telling the 15yr old yes (she has asked me if i would adopt her baby -should she choose to keep it)