This is a very long story but I'm desperate for some advice so please help. So my boyfriend and I had a relationship that started out as just sex but very very quickly grew into real feelings and love. He let me know very early on that he wanted something more with me. We have been dating for over a year now and everything has been blissful smooth sailing. A handful of fights here and there but not anything major. This summer I lived with him for six weeks while I was doing an internship. In the month or so before he offered for me to stay with him, it was totally his idea, we maybe had one or two big fights and throughout our relationship we had kept the sexual 🔥 going STRONG! After I moved in though, after a few weeks something changed. He basically stopped coming onto me and anytime I would come on to him he now rejects my advances. And I'm not even talking about going for sex, like if I try to give him more then a peck he will physically push me away and actually chastise me because he doesn't want it. This wouldn't bother me, I tried to be understanding at first, but now this has been going on for weeks. We have had sex about once a week for the past two months now. I know that's not a long time, but I am 21 and still have a very high sex drive. He is 25 so I don't think his libido would be going down because he isn't old yet but idk. The couple of times I tried to talk to him to find what's going on, he shrugs it off, says he's just tired or it's too hard to explain. I didn't really address it at all until about a week and a half ago I found that after I started touching him and got him in the mood, he told me he changed his mind, then went in the bathroom and jerked off. I know this because, to my shame, I went in his phone history and found he was looking at porn. This made me feel awful about myself and so self conscious. I practically bawled and he apologized but when I tried to talk about it, just asking him to explain it so I could understand why he felt the need to do that, he turned it on me and said I shouldn't be trying to make him feel bad about it. That sometimes a guy just needs to jack off. I still didn't understand why that was preferable to actually being intimate with me but he wasn't opening up so I let it go. My internship ended and I moved back south to my parents house for school. But we are still close enough to see each other, only about 30 min away. Tonight he said he just doesn't want to have sex on weeknights because he will feel like shit tomorrow and that just doesn't make sense to me. Sex should make you feel better. At least for him. TMI ahead!! be warned. He is really into anal sex. I am not the biggest fan because it does hurt at first, he is VERY thick, like it gets better and eventually feels good but I'd rather just have vaginal sex that I don't have to worry about pain with. My point is he says he doesn't want to have sex with me because it will make him tired or feeling bad at work the next day, whereas I bend over when ever he asks and let him plow my ass with his ridiculously fat dick which fucks up my digestion for the next few days just because I know it will please him. But he can't even be bothered to dick me down a little bit because it will make him tired? Like fucking excuse me?!?! Also, as I am kinky and my boyfriend is a Marine, I told him two months ago that I would love for him to wear his uniform while we had sex, also that I want him to tie me up, he has not bothered to try that once. I on the other hand, have been the guinea pig for many an anal toy such as, vibrating dildos, vibrating anal plugs, and some anal beads that he pushed in so far there was blood on them. He was never trying to hurt me and apologized immediately saying he'd never use them again. I'm not saying he's malicious, but I can't help but feel his fantasies and his needs are more important to him than mine. And I am very meticulous about grooming myself, like I will get self conscious if there is even a little bit of stubble. I will not voluntarily have sex unless I am smooth down there. Key word on the voluntary because while he will actually scold me for coming on to him when he's not in the mood, we were showering together and he did start coming onto me but I told him we could once I shaved, he insisted that he didn't care about that. I responded maybe you don't but I do. He kept grabbing me and started touching me anyway. I have in and we had sex but I felt really... disrespected I guess. Like I get chastised for kissing him too long when he doesn't want it but if I'm uncomfortable having sex without being groomed that's less important than him wanting it right now? I did address that and he did apologize but I still feel off about it. Sorry for the TMI 🤐 also the reason I was staying with him to begin with was because I was trying to escape from my emotionally abusive mother who gave me a lot of body image issues. I have put on about three pounds and already wasn't feeling too stellar so finding out about the porn and his constant rejections have done wonders for me self esteem. Which I told him about but he hasn't made an effort to help fix it at all. We have hung out three times since I left and not once has he made a move on me. I am at the end of my rope here. He says it has nothing to do with me that it's all on his end and he's sorry it's affecting me but he won't explain what's going on and has been making zero effort to fix anything. I don't know what to I could do to be more sexually appealing to him. I don't know what to do. And I need some advice. Please 😰