venting a little

Erica • #mrsmfinmason

I'm 33 now been trying to conceive baby #3 with my husband for 3+ years now. I'm just not understanding how when I was 22 and wanted no kids I got one with an asshole and he ditched my son. and then when I was 25 I had a wild night out because I was stupid and felt like hey I deserve it I havent been out and crazy since before my son was born and I get a baby from a one night stand. and now I'm happily married planning a baby and he's done a great job taking on two kids and ready to experience the pregnancy and delivery with me and the baby stuff. why so easy before? do I need to be drunk and stupid? or just on birth control since I was with both previous pregnancies? I obviously get that this is just how it's all happening in my life and there are no real answers I guess, Dr says I'm fine. I've done ovulation and timing yadda yadda yadda. just 3 years has me down and now I'm five days late with a negative test in my hand.