NICU Journey

I'm really irritated because I feel like my son has been kidnapped. I know he's there because he's a preemie but he's not in any medication or anything never was. He passed all the test to go home but they kept him today because he's still having the periodic episodes of shallow breathing. They did the car seat test today and he had 2 episodes during the test 1 was 3 seconds and the other was 5-10 seconds in order to fail the test he would need to have an episode that lasts for 20 seconds or more. Both episodes combined didn't equal that amount of time but the doctor refused to sign off on it. So they sad they would try the test again tomorrow and that's the only thing that is pending his discharg. I am just frustrated because everyday I go see him I keep getting told tomorrow and tomorrow comes and goes but my stomach b is still not home. I'm so tired of this I'm missing precious time with my son I won't get back and I still have to go back to work in 6 weeks. It feels like I made it to Heaven and was forced to stand in the corner and watch everyone else have a good time. This isn't the way this was supposed to happen. I'm so tired I don't eat any sleep I'm waking up every 3 hours to pump I'm going to see him everyday to do at least 2 feedings and before I know it I'm there for 8 hours. I'm going crazy and no one seems to understand I know I should just be grateful things are like this considering the last time around I had a stillborn but considering all I've been through I just want something to go the way t was planned. How long can I keep going like this. I want to scream and throw things. I just want my son home is that too much to ask?