I had never dated anyone before. It was all a big mystery. I'm an old soul in many ways which made it hard for me to find people I liked, and even if I did like someone I am not conventionally attractive. As many young females do, I hoped I would find someone. Not the love of my life, I was being realistic, but someone. However I also did not understand the point of dating someone I could not see a possible future with. Not because I wanted an intense relationship that was daunting and scary, but because that was my understanding of dating. I thought, people date in hopes that eventually one of the people they date is the person they end up marrying. So why would you date someone casually? If your intent isn't to stay with the person as long as possible then why do you want to date them? I was only 13 when these thoughts started to occur. I knew it was ridiculous to expect marriage from any relationship I could possibly get at that age in my life. There were too many obstacles. Immaturity, years and years of school to come. So I was settled, I believed that dating at a young age was useless. It made sense to me that adults would date. It made sense for an adult to be searching for a life partner, and in my head that's what dating was. Just the search for someone to get hitched with. Now here I am 3 years later. I'm 16 and I have finally experienced enough things to understand why it's good to date. I met someone I liked and I had no idea what to do. This was not something that happened in the world I created in my head. But it was happening anyway. We were hanging out and I was agreeing to things without establishing what I really wanted or what he really wanted. I had no idea how important it was to just be honest and get the question out there "What are you looking for?" "What do you want out of this?" When you first meet someone you should get to know them, not just throw that question out there. But once I saw that things were developing in ways beyond standard friendship, I should have asked so many things that I didn't even think to ask until they were problems. I learned that these relationships that I will have as a teenager are going to help me know exactly how to handle dating when I am looking for my "forever" partner. I know so many things about myself I did not know before. I still don't know where this "relationship" of mine is going, but assuming there is a relationship after this one I now know what I DON'T want. No disrespect to the guy I like right now. I also learned with him what I do enjoy and things I do appreciate, but I've also figured out things I 100% don't want to deal with again and thank gosh, because now in my next relationship, knowing what to avoid just might save me some heart ache. You don't have to just go with the flow in your first relationships, but make sure you allow yourself to try new things. Its okay to be uncertain of something, as long as you feel safe and comfortable. Feeling certain and feeling comfortable are not the same thing. I did not know if I was going to like my first kiss, I wasn't really certain if he should be my first kiss haha. But I was comfortable and I knew if I did not like it I would be able to tell him that. Dating is good, it is important, it is weird and it will bring you into a lot of unfamiliar situations. So just remember, safe and comfortable, happy too. If you are all 3 of those things, chances are you will be okay