So I want to take a test soooo damn bad! But I've somehow convinced myself that if I test early it shift the balance of the world and all the sudden I won't be pregnant (even if I wasn't to begin with). It's so nerve wracking waiting for AF and even more emotionally draining when she shows up. I really just want this two year wait to be over now. I just want a perfect little mix of him and myself. Like I can just see the perfect little angel face with big blue eyes and a mess of light brown curly hair playing In the back yard with us. We've been doing everything short of calling god himself and asking him what's up. I just hate it!