Almost 2 weeks ago now, I went in for my second trimester screening appointment and was so excited because the prenatal diagnosis center has the best ultrasounds and I couldn't wait to see my baby boy Aiden who had been kicking and rolling around for about a month. As the tech was doing the ultrasound, she was extremely quiet and mentioned she was concerned about the heart. The doctor came in, told us the heart doesn't look good and sent us to a Stanford pediatric cardiologist the next day. We had that appointment (which took way longer than expected) and then the head of pediatric cardiology who had been doing heart surgeries on babies for over 30 years said she'd never seen a heart like my baby's. He had 7 different heart conditions which are all extremely rare. The conditions were: Heterotaxy Syndrome, Single ventricle, Pulmonary venous retrium, Tricuspid atresia, Mitral atresia, Pulmonary atresia and Dextrocardia. Every doctor I've seen has said they've never seen this combo and have never seen a heart this dysfunctional. My baby's heart found a way to function in the womb but would never be able to survive outside the womb, even after multiple surgeries. So last week, my fiancé and I went back to Stanford and I got a D&E; at almost 21 weeks. It was the most devastating thing I've ever had to do. Emotionally, I was so heartbroken but it seems like it's only getting worse. I'm constantly holding back tears and can't even force a fake smile. My boobs are leaking milk (I've been drinking sage tea and taking B6 to help dry it up) which makes it even harder and I'm cramping and constantly having to use a heat pad on my belly. It's just hard to see myself being happy again after all this. My fiancé and I are talking about getting a puppy and trying to get pregnant again after my body heals but it's still hard getting through each day. Anybody else going through anything similar or have any advice as to how to make yourself feel better?