I was in a 3 year long relationship. Recently I broke up with my ex because he continues to lie and it makes it hard for me to trust him or forgive him for his past.

He had a a history of cheating on me. I forgave him the in the beginning because I thought he acted out of fear from his ex cheating on him. At that time I could only prove that he was flirting, having inappropriate conversations and from his lack of commitment. I broke up with him a number of times but I was inlove with him , and like a lot of women, I would fall back into a relationship with him.

Eventually another year l

Past and I was expecting. We had a fight because I found a devil teddy bear with a bow wrapped in a bag in his back see. I was pregnant at the time and just lost it. Immediately his past of infidelity flashed in my head and my hormones just took over. He swore that it was from a male co- worker. I could be so stupid to believe it , so I just kept crying and acting out. He then got angry and left the house for 2 weeks. Later he came back and admitted that he cheated on me with a stranger done a bar and that she only gave him a blow job. I didn't believe him. I knew he did more with her. I also felt that it was some girl he met off " backpages.com" where they sell the sex. He had admitted to doing this before we met. He said he did it when he was single and those days were over. I didnt know him and it wasn't my business what he did before he met me. I was heart broken to know the man I loved cheated on me while I carried his son. I was powerless and felt horrible.

So fast forward another year. We broke up and decided to get back together and work it out for the baby. We also promised to put the past behind us and move forward with effort on both side with trust and understanding. So 9 months past and amongst those 9 months I have fulfilled al of my duties we spoke of. I have fulfilled his sexual fantasies and I mean big ones that take a lot of trust! I've taken him to Cuba for his birthday, Florida as a family trip, loved him, assured him he was great, he was loved and he was super handsome and only for me. I'm a great mother and a great parent to competent with to raise our son.

I've done everything . One day he was showing pictures and just decided to look at the messages in the phone.

I saw more than 10 requests to people asking for their rates for sex.

I saw messages bag hey we're at his front door. I saw women give him the hotel

Room numbers. I was disgusted and heart broken. I was tricked. Played. I felt so stupid. So ugly and inadequate.

I'm Pettit. 5'2 and 112 pounds. What was wrong with me ???! How could he do this ?

That was a few months ago. He begged me for another chance and used the fact we had a son and we can try again and he would never do it again. He said he was sorry and he felt bad. But I didn't feel like it was a sincere apology. But like an idiot I took him back only after he got checked and I. Our results were fine and we started again. But recently he would like about stupid things like he is on his way to my house but he will really be at the bar. Then he will admit to me that he lied. I would go back into a frenzy. Because I'm trying to learn to trust him again. I'm only 30 and he is 38 , I want to build a family and raise our son with those values. But now all the past just keeps coming back. So the last week I broke up with him after he lied to me again and I blocked him on my Facebook and told him to not contact me and stay away from me I need space and to heal from 3 years of being treated like shit.

Is this forgivable what he did all this time?

Am I wrong for staying away ?

Please no basking or negative comments toward me. I'm so down about this. I feel so low and used. 😔