Im trying so hard ! & I feel stressed tf out!

I don't feel appreciated for the shit I do as a wife. I feel like I'm a failure even when I try as hard as I can. Well my husband got arrested for speeding (I WAS MAD! Cause I did tell him to slow down but he just started to speed again. Then out of the sudden I saw blue lights. My stomach sank! )also he was kinda drunk. But not drunk drunk. My husband nephew was following us. The cops took him in & stuff without telling me anything. The second cop that came was standing by my window & I was asking questions & I was letting him know that I'm the wife. & that what's the info on what's going on. He told me "I'll tell you later" I said ok thank you. Next thing you know the cops left didn't say anything they JUST left me there! I was speechless. I was mad cause we told my husband that if he couldn't drive my husband nephew could drive us back home. He said "i can. " HE COULD he was just speeding like a IMMATURE dumb ass he passed all the tests but the only test he refused to do was the breath thingy what ever you call it . (I WOULDVE DROVE! But I can't drive standard ' )

Anyways , I called up 911 & ask them to connect me to the police station that was near by where I live blah blah blah. So they told me that if I want to bail him out it'll be 500$ or I could wait till like 7am till they transfer him to town. I was like I'll come get him.

So I called my husband nephew to pick me up but i asked if he could ask his dad if he could drive my husband truck back home. He told me yeah he can. So I called my sister (thank god for my family) if she could pick me up and drop me off to the station. So her and her in laws (mom and dad) picked me up right when I got dropped off I just grabbed my husband backpack and I grabbed the things I needed. We was heading to the station. So my husband called me saying " call my mom please ! " I kinda was mad cause he had no idea I'm coming to get him but at the same time I was looking for money. I called my dad but my dad was working all the way on the other side of the island & he caught the bus. I didn't want to call his mom. I called her like 6 times the 7 time she answered. I told her what happen and she told "well leave him in there good for him he just like his dumb father*then she hunged up" I became more speechless and just crying. So I took out 100$ out of my card & my sister father in law gave me 200$ all I needed was 200 more. So I called his FULL blood sister (40 times) no answer. Just to let you know IM VERY in bad terms with all his sisters just personal issues of them disrespecting me & stuff. Anyways I tried calling my older brothers they didn't answer also. I called my cousins no one answer. Then icalled his half sister. I told her what happen & I told her sorry for waking her up. I told her my husband will pay her back on Friday. She told me she can but she ain't got no ride. Then I told her what her mom said. So she told me she gonna talk to her. Let me tell you I was waiting 4 HOURS! If I had to stay Until 7 I would've! I was busting my ass to get this ass hole out. So the mom called told me she gonna come to give me the money and I told the cops to hold him until my mother in law comes with the money. So they was holding him. An half an hour pass on waiting for my mother in law. We bailed him out & stuff.

WHAT made me so irritated is that he kept poking my shoulder & poking my face & saying "THANK YOU MOM , thank you Chas" (his sister was also recording which pisst me off cause my husband was acting dumb & I knew what she was doing she was gonna post it up!)

Anyways he still didn't know I paid it & my sister father in law & his other sister help paid. His mom wanted him in there.

What made me pisst was that he kept swearing! I told him wait till we get home cause his mom was fucking irritating him even more. Downing him & shit. So my husband said " BITCH GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE IM TRYANNA TALK TO MY MOM AND SISTER YOU STUPID FAT BITCH!" So i said "I WAITED ALMOST 5 FUCKING HOURS TO GET YOUR ASS OUT I MADE CALLS AND SHIT! IF IT WASNT FOR ME YOU WOULDNT BE OUT RN "YOUR MOM" wanted TO KEEP YOU IN THERE! & so did your sister! Sorry for being a wife & not letting your drunk ass stay in there !" So he elbowed my thigh. I just fucking just was like fuck it already!

So he hugged his sister and mom tight & said again "Thank you mom and Chas for helping me get out of it wasn't for you two I would be still in there" that gmfu! So I just fucking let it go I just want to shower & sleep. So I showered my dumb ass husband cause he was really drunk to do anything (cause he drank another pack wen we came home ) I put on his clothes gave him water and Benadryl. I showered then I cleaned up the room while he was sleeping cause I wanted to wake up with a clean room. Then he woke up got on his ig & he showed me videos of his ex gf brother ! I said "isn't that Natalia brother ! Don't lie to me cause I know them ! Their mom is my dad cousin !" He said " yeah" I said " why is everyone of her and her family still in your family & stuff? Are you still in love with her ?" He said "more just a little !" That got me fucking fucked up! Idk what I'm writing but I'm just so bottled up I want to explode I feel like such a failure I hate my life . I try so hard. I even apply for a job that I know for sure that I'll get. & my aunty gonna get me into the longs drugs store . I was happy cause I'm finally can really support my husband FINACIALLY!

I'm just so fucked up rn I can't think or write straight I wanna punch the wall or something 😩