I don't know where else to go or who to talk to. I'm so alone. My boyfriend of almost 4 years and I just broke up and he was my best friend. He cheated on me and relapsed on drugs and I feel so alone. The situation is messed up. He agreed to let me try doing things with a girl and I mentioned he could sleep with someone else too but he said he never would and I told him I didn't want him to because it would hurt, but he did it anyways and didn't tell me then rubbed it in my face. He won't apologize. He said he did it because he was hurt and lonely, and what I did with a girl had nothing to do with him.

I don't need people saying I'm right or wrong here, I didn't know he was in so much pain because he didn't tell me. I would've never done what I did if he had told me it would hurt him this much, but now things can't be fixed. I don't know how to move on though, I have no friends or support system. I'm completely alone. Any advice or help or kind words would be appreciated. Thank you.