I found my suicide letters, HELP?!?!?!

So I was going through some things and I found a few letters and I opened them and realised that they where my suicide letters I'm not an emotional person but I just burst into tears and I've been clean for 3 years and I've been happy idk the last week I haven't been my self and I keep having nightmares about the night I tried to take my life. Has anyone else had this happen is it normal.