A letter to my abusive husband

I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt. I've stuck up for you for three years. I've said multiple times that you would never touch me, but you did. 3 times. Im glad that there were people there. Im glad you went to jail. What Is killing me is the fact you cry, and apologize. You've been there for a few months now and won't leave me alone. You've made promises to stop drinking, you've promised to get help. You've been doing self help classes but it's still eating me alive. What hurts the most is the fact that I forgave you so easily. I want to love you, I want us to work. YOU were the one I vowed to be with forever. But what I didnt vowe to was to let myself get hurt. To risk my life. I miss your love, I miss our laughs, I miss my bestfriend. I feel like you are a different person when you're not drinking. Please never hurt me again. Im taking this risk because I know who you are. Im takingthis risk because I love you. But ill never do it again. It's too hard. I love myself too much.