An awful thing to say

I don't know if I could be a good mother to with a child with autism or downs. That makes me feel like an awful person. I just don't think I have the patience for it. I'm already scared to be a mother because I am bipolar. It makes me question I should even have kids. But I've always wanted to be a mother. 😔 But if I can't say I'd love my child regardless then do i even deserve to be a mom? I'm not so sure.