intrusive mother in law or over reacting?

Question

So I've been living with my boyfriend for a little over a year and a half. we had our baby 4 days ago. His mom just as my mom has been over every day yo visit the baby. But today when she came she had her daughter who takes semi professional pictures come to take newborn pictures of the baby. I can't help to feel like that ot wasn't her place. He's my son and that's something I wanted to do for him. I wanted to take the time to find a outfit, and find different posses. I understand it's her first grandbaby but I also feel like it was intrusive. I don't have a great relationship with her but I do feel like she could have asked. It's something I would have been open to doing together. AM I BEING IVER SENSITIVE OR OVER REACTING? ARE MY FEELING JUSTIFIED? I tried talking with my boyfriend but he feels like I'm attacking his mom. And that I'm overreacting.  HELP ME

Answer

NOT OVERSENSITIVE! I get that it's her first grand baby BUT THIS IS YOIR CHILD. NOT HERS! Don't let her walk all over you.

Answer

Newborn pictures are typically taken in the first 5-7 days after birth before a baby looses that new baby "look", and most people have a photographer lined up before birth. Could it be that your MIL was getting pressure from the photographer to get these pictures done so you have the memories? I absolutely think she should have asked your opinion before doing them, but possibly she spoke to your SO and he gave the man answer of sure sounds good and didnt tell you. Your emotions are going to be all over the place for the next few weeks, try to take a deep breath and know that this was not done to be mean and go enjoy your baby snuggles.

Answer

Thanks ladies for you comments and help. I realized that I was being a little over sensitive at the same time I had some valid points. I spoke to my SO and  we agreed that whatever had to do with the baby we both need to be on the same page and talk about. That even when things weren't important they may be important to the other person. He agreed and said he'd try harder. At this point that's all I need from him, to try harder. I can see how hard he's trying to help with the baby and is trying to support me in our new transition, as I am to him. I couldn't ask for a better father to my little man. ❤ Thank u again for such wonderful advice and helping me put things into perspective!

Answer

Just because they took some doesn't mean you can't still have it done on your own? She probably just thought you'd like it and was trying to do something nice. Take your own too if you want!

Answer

Honestly I can't say that wouldn't have annoyed me. It's your child not hers. It's not her place to make decisions like that without first seeking the mothers permission. If it were me, I'd kindly let her know that's not on. Otherwise she'll get more overbearing. But maybe that's my pregnancy hormones speaking. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

I get where you're coming from, but it would be very difficult for me to say anything to my MIL when I've been under her roof for over a year. Even if I paid rent, it's still her house. Not taking her side, I'd be pissed too. But it's kind of a difficult situation. I'd honestly just let it go, but if it continues to the point where she's just trying to raise your child without consulting you then I'd definitely say something to her. Regardless of my boyfriend getting angry. That's your child, not hers.

Answer

I would think she was just trying to be nice, and also since her daughter takes semi-professional pictures, she thought it would be nice to get a few photos of the baby at this young age. I'm sure the aunt also just wanted to see the baby. I took tons of pictures of my niece when she was born. I doubt it was done with the intention of usurping your chance to have professional photos taken, because you still can. Later on, you may be happy to have these photos from when your baby was this small. Grandmothers are going to do stuff like this out of kindness and excitement. If it bothers you, you can definitely say something, but I'd be more bothered by the fact that both mothers think they can come over every day since the baby has been born...have you gotten any rest or time to yourself yet?

intrusive mother in law or over reacting?

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