First period ....

Last night I started my period. It's my first since the miscarriage. I was laughing and flirting with husband then went to the rest room and realized I started. It just all hit me and I became so angry with my body. But I've been fine since the D&C.; Even when we started having sex again I didn't cry or feel sad. I was glad to be intimate with husband.

I came back in the living room and just took it out on my poor sweet husband. He was confused at first then pointedly let me know that he had done nothing to be treated like I was treating him. I took a minute and came back and apologized to him and FINALLY explained what was going on and then sobbed just like I did when I saw that there was no heartbeat. I cried angry tears because I'm suppose to be 16 weeks pregnant and I'm not. I'm starting my period and just found out a friend is pregnant. I'm happy for her soooo happy. But I'm sad for me and angry at my body because I'm not pregnant anymore. I feel like everyone is founding out their pregnant or having babies right now. Plus my chronic pain has flared up big time. I've prayed and tried talking to my husband and sister but they can't really understand how empty And frustrated feel in this moment while I bleed and cramp. 💔💔💔💔💔

Just need a place to vent. A place where other women see this and understand how I feel for just right now... I don't want another pregnant I wanted that pregnancy and the sweet baby that was never there in the first place. ( i had a blighted ovum) I feel like it was a big horrible joke. I feel upset when another friend said" well at least it wasn't a real pregnancy since there was no baby"😳 but it was real to me! I felt like a failure after the D&C; and my milk came in. I don't know if I'm finally processing it all now that it's really all over or hormones... in this moment I just need to get this all out of my head.