So a part of me is thinking that all this sadness and regret I'm feeling is postpartum depression but another part of me thinks I might just be an ungrateful bi*ch. I'm extremely sad that my birth and raising my baby hasn't gone how I planned. It's affecting me a lot and I think about it a lot. Too the point where I've been kinda wishing I had my baby later on in my life. But I didn't get all the glam of pregnancy I wanted (weekly bump photos, gender reveal, maternity photo shoot, baby shower, etc), I didn't exactly get the birth I wanted (unmedicated home water birth), I didn't get the nursery/accessories that I wanted (certain crib, stroller, decorations, baby carrier, clothes etc etc) and I didn't get to feed her how I wanted (exclusive breastfeeding, I could have done it but stress and being forced to supplement in some situations from my fiancee has caused my supply to drop) Do I sound ungrateful and whiny? It was my first baby and I wanted her to be special.