i never thought it would be this hard

we have been TTC for October will be three years. with only 1 pregnancy last June which ended in a miscarriage at 6w5d and have not conceived since. all my tests come back perfect (ultrasounds, blood work). we even did 3 cycles of clomid December-February and it wasn't successful. my SO refuses to get his sperm checked (he says he'll do it but never has) every month I stress and hope its my month. BTW it was him that came to me wanted to have a baby. and also I have 2 kids from a previous relationship. I'm so frustrated that he won't do the test but we have had huge fights over it and he's even promised but just won't do it. I feel like I want to stop trying and just get back in BC so I won't stress every month. I know I'm ranting but what would u do if u were me?? thanks ladies