I'm still in love with my ex it's a long story

he asked me to marry him n have his kids I said no n it was the stupidest thing I ever did for his happiness and mine because now I can love anyone else and he's locked up for robbing a bank at gun point which he never would've done if I had kept him n I on the right track instead I was to young to settle down I thought and said no n now it kills me to this day because he's locked up and the only man I can love is him believe me I've tried within the past few years but the only thing I can have feeling for are women now and they just have to understand I'll always love this man but I'll always love them too considering I wouldn't even be able to have a life with this man till I was 31 or 45 so I kinda even em learning to put that out the window but it's hard being that way and having the feeling I do moving on isn't always easy when u both love each other but it's just forbidden love