Questions to my mother

Why were you never like other kind nurturing mothers? Why did you have to abuse me - physically, verbally, emotionally, mentally, and sexually - for years on end? How could you torture your eldest daughter so much, leaving her severely depressed, anxious, suffering from OCDs and OCSDs, while treating your youngest daughter like a princess? How could you ostracise your own daughter and keep everyone away from her, so that she had nobody to confide in about the despicable things you did to her? How could you kick your own daughter out of home, only to run to everybody else you were close to and claim that your daughter had instead run away from home? Why... so many questions that will possibly go unanswered while you are alive...