Boyfriends Mum called me "fat". In the Vietnamese culture apparently it means you are "beautiful if you are fat or chubby". I got upset because I have distorted body image/ recovering from an ed. How would you react to something like that ?

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I get how it is. I was an inpatient before falling pregnant (I wasn't getting periods so I was very happily surprised). In my culture (West Indies) being called big is a compliment. I have people tell me I have fat thighs and I have "nice size". I've had people tell me this when I was 135lbs and 90lbs. Honestly I was so skinny and they still said it. It really is just meant as a compliment. 
I just translate it in my head to "you look great" then let it roll off my back. Don't let your ED use compliments to hurt you.

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If that is the culture then she’s trying to compliment you. I wouldn’t be mad at her if there was no ill intent. But I would be a bit upset personally.

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If you're comfortable enough maybe just tell her that even if it's meant to be a compliment, it does upset you and you don't wish to be called that. I'm sure she'd understand.

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Even if she meant it with the best intentions she needs to understand your culture too and accept it can be offensive

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In my culture, they call a 'fat' person a 'healthy' person. I think it's just to do with the thinking in developing countries, where a 'fat' person is more likely to be healthy as they wealthy so they can afford to be fed well. This is as opposed to a thin person who is seen as poor and not well taken care of. 🤔 I personally really am fat so if someone did call me that, I'd be like 'I know, I know'. 😂

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Is tell him. I appreciate the compliment. But here in American culture that's an insult. 
I'd say "Thanks but..👇🏼"

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Ten years ago that would've set me back a ton, cultural compliment or not. I'm in a much healthier frame of mind now, so I'm sure it would upset me at first, then I'd shrug it off and go on my way. Life is too short to worry about other people's opinions and as long as you're healthy, it's no one else's business.

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If you know what the culture is and you know she didn't mean it in a mean way, i don't see the issue 😅 you knew what her intentions were

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I mean she didn't mean to insult you. She was trying to say you looked beautiful. Remind yourself of that.

Boyfriends Mum called me "fat". In the Vietnamese culture apparently it means you are "beautiful if you are fat or chubby". I got upset because I have distorted body image/ recovering from an ed. How would you react to something like that ?

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