Sorry rant

CAN I JUST BE PREGNANT ALREADY!!!! I cant freaking take this anymore i deel like a complete failure as woman and a wife!!!!! I just want to break down and cry but i cant cuz i have no more tears!!! My mom is very sick just found out my sister has cancer and im loosing my mind and my hope!!!! I just frusterates me seeing ladies preg with twins! I am happy for them but ugh i just wish well u kno ???? i just want my rainbow baby ?????????