So I can't post anything about this on other social media sites because this has always been a very secret part of my life but I want to take a second to say how lucky I am to have my husband. When I was 5 my step-dad started molesting me. He'd make me touch him because "you need to know what this feels like because one day you'll have a husband" and he would touch me and claim he wasn't trying too. He would say he thought he was rubbing the pit of my leg. When I was 7 he stopped that and started verbally and physically abusing me. My mom had no idea because he never left bruises she would see and I was to scared to ever tell her anything. He threatened me and made me feel like complete trash. I wanted to die. I grew up hating myself. He had me seeing myself the way he saw me. When I was 15 he went into rehab when my mother discovered he was abusing his prescription pain meds and forced him into rehab. When he was finally gone I summoned the courage to tell her everything. She served him with divorce papers a few weeks later and since then I haven't had any contact with him. At 18 I met the man I am now married too. He was the second man I had ever told about what happened. I was so scared he would run or tell me I was disgusting like the man before him did. He didn't. He told me he loved me no matter what and he didn't want me to ever do anything I wasn't comfortable with. He's more understanding and loving than anyone I've ever met. When I feel overwhelmed and can't be sexual with him, he never gets angry or upset. He hugs me, tells me he loves me, and does whatever he can to comfort me. When I can't have sex for several weeks because I'm struggling, he doesn't ask for anything and doesn't mention sex at all. Last night I fell apart because I had promised him a BJ on his birthday and when the time came for that I couldn't do it. I felt horrible. He came to me, wrapped me up in a hug and told me that it doesn't matter to him if I swore up and down that I would do something for him like that a sexual promise is never one I have to keep. He wants me to enjoy sex. He wants me to only do what I am 100% comfortable with. He never EVER wants me to do anything because I feel like I have to. I never owe him anything. Period. That he would love me and want to be married to me even if we never had sex again. He said no sex, BJ's, and handjobs isn't a sacrifice to him because he gets me and that's all he ever wants. He doesn't even watch porn because he knows I can't handle it. It isn't that I think it's cheating. Sexual stuff is just hard for me and I can't personally handle porn. (I was completely honest and upfront about that before we even started dating.) I don't know how I ever got so lucky as to have someone who is so caring, understanding, and loving. I never thought I would ever be so lucky as to have someone who cared more about me than they do about themselves. Not only is he understanding in this area but he will cook us special dinners, clean the house, and completely spoil me regardless of whether or not I'm having a good day or a bad day. Good men are out there! I am 22 now and we will be celebrating 3 years of marriage on the 20th of this month:)