So I've know my fiancé (ex now) for 11 years, since I was 14. We were amazing friends in high school and secretly liked each other. Fast forward about 10 years we got into a relationship. I was so entranced by the fact that I was with my old high school crush that I never thought I'd get the chance with. He had a past with drugs and I was fine with that as long as he was clean now. Well he began to display warning signs that he was on drugs and crazy but I guess I didn't see them (stupid on my part). He had put his hands on me on Thanksgiving of last year and I ended up breaking my hand (I fought back as he was choking me to death) but I chalked it up to us being pretty drunk. Well he started verbally abusing me by always making me feel like I didn't do enough and that I was always cheating, on him even though I helped him when he lost his job. In February he put his hands on me during another argument and I made him leave. But like an idiot I let him come back because I felt trapped, he wouldn't leave me alone. He told me things would be better and it wouldn't happen again and I believed him. We started TTC (again stupid on me) because we both wanted a baby and we got engaged in May. Everything was pretty good, until a week or so ago. He started accusing me again and being really aggressive, so I looked through his phone last night (no shame) and found out he's been using drugs again! (Come to think of it I'm not even sure he ever stopped). I had started rethinking having a baby when this started again and was going to tell him that last night before he went to sleep. So when I woke him up and asked him to leave he jumped on me. He started choking me, hitting me, pushing me, and now I sit here with two busted lips, a knot on my head, numerous scratches on my face, nails that he ripped from the root, and the kicker is he bit me so hard on my breast that it broke skin and his teeth marks are still in my skin. I finally called my dad and uncle and he got his things but I sit here feeling so stupid, I'm not even really sad but I just don't understand how I got myself in this position. Now I have no friends (he always thought I'd cheat when I went out) and I wonder how I got to such a low point in my life. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. I feel like it's my fault because I kept trying to fix what was broken. But I must say even though I feel pretty down I'm glad to say I survived and let go of an abusive relationship. Now I just have to rebuild my life and move on, and hopefully make some new friends. Thank you for reading all of this and if you have any advice then I'm all for it.