Okay so first of all let me make it clear that my mom is someone I will love unconditionally but she has some issues that just constantly gets in the way. As of next week it will be 3 months since we last spoke, we live in the same fucking house!

In June, she & my dad went to California to handle personal things & they left my sister home with me ( she's 17) so it was no issue. The night before they came back me and my sister went shopping because she wanted to redecorate her room because my grandma had taken over it for the past 6 months, & well we went into the makeup section and we were so excited recommending products to each other & even talked about practicing on each other. ( my sister and I never had a close relationship btw) I was so happy because me and her never really hang out. This year I felt I got closer to her because of having the same interest in makeup, I helped her with prom & graduation & I even came out to her as bi, she's the only one that knows too. Well when they came back home my mom noticed she had purchased a few goodies and started questioning her about it, the next morning I wake up happy, walk into the kitchen and say good morning my mom totally made a face and was like "hey". I greeted my sister and she just ignored me, I'm a very anxious person so when I notice a slight difference in someone's mood with me I completely shut off. I stayed out of the way but continued to say hi and tried to make small talk but nothing. A few days later my daughter comes in with a mark on her face and it appears to be a hickie, apparently my mom put a new product that's supposed to massage you on her cheek and it left that mark. My mom became distant with me never told me about what happened to my daughter but I stayed quiet too. I thought I could get answers from my sister so I text her and she never responded. She completely stopped talking to me altogether. A week later I'm walking in the house with my S/O and she was busy so he walked by without interrupting her. Moments later she comes to us raging & I mean she's huffing and puffing and her voice is shaking about how I make her feel uncomfortable in her house and that I'm always in my room and I never talk. I was having an internal breakdown that I had to walk away and literally cried on my bed hearing her say all these things to my S/O, he kept telling her to tell me what her issues are with me and she said "I can't tell her nothing without you being here because she's such a lier and I need you to hear" mind you had I known this was gonna happen I would have waited for my dad to get home so he can be apart of it. My dad never sees this side of my mom so I had to let him know later that day. He just told me to talk it out when clearly that won't help. A month later my little sister came to my room crying because she was grounded literally for no reason & I heard my mom, dad, & 17 yr old sister having fun, I went over and asked my dad a simple question "are you not going to include my sister? She's crying in my room because she's grounded and said you didn't want to talk to her" I then told him be careful with her because I don't want her to end up like me, being an introvert!

One thing led to another and somehow my mom started yelling at me telling me that she hates that I'm here and that I'm the problem, she clearly stated "you are the reason I get mad at your dad because I have to pay for the things you do".......

Typing this has me torn all over again and I honestly don't know what to do. I never do anything. I'm always keeping to myself and I hardly hang with my family because weird enough every time I'm around everyone wants to be on their phones in their own world. I cant be close to my dad because my mom gets bothered and starts ignoring him, I can't talk to my 17yr old sister because my mom gets jealous that we connect a little more because we're both interested in the same things. She doesn't let my little sister talk to me and it's breaking me down. I can't go to the kitchen and cook for myself and my daughter because she won't let me step foot there, she either leaves thing unusable from being dirty or unusable from being in the process of getting cleaned. I've literally been eating fast food for the past 3 months and I've hit rock bottom.

& YES girls I've been trying to move out for the past months and I finally got a house that will be ready in the next couple of weeks. After being rejected from multiple apartments I finally get a little house to call my own 😔

I envy girls who have the perfect mom/daughter relationship. That's why I go extra hard to build what I wish I had with my mom, with my daughter......💔