So I've been with the same man for two years (on and off) and he made my life miserable for a while. Such horrible emotional abuse when we split up the first time he used me for sex making me believe he wanted me back and then would try to win his ex back the next day in front of me. When I was pregnant he cheated on me many times and said many awful thing to his ex involving me. But I went back to him because I love him so much and he was my first and just the fact he took my virginity when I was 18 makes me feel so bonded to him I'm afraid to be without him. Things have been distant between us and it hurts. Everyone at my work hates him because they see how he treats me but I cant bring myself to leave it him but I don't know what to do anymore because I don't know what I want. If you were in my position what would you have done personally? I know I've been an idiot allowing him back into my life so many times