So lately I’ve been having very vivid dreams of my husband cheating on me with his coworker. Logical me says “it’s a fucking dream” anxious me is so terrified that my spidy sense is telling me something. So what did I do? I went through his phone while he was sleeping. I’ll admit I shouldn’t have. It’s a huge privacy violation and I feel guilty. I’ve just had a really bad feeling about one of his female coworkers for a very long time. But every time I nonchalantly try to talk he brushes it off and let’s me know there’s absolutely nothing he sees in her and vise verse. So when I’m reading through their conversation she keeps calling him boo/baby/honey and says “I miss you” over and over. He only responds with “I miss you guys too” (meaning the entire team he worked with as he now is in a new location). He talks about me and it’s good. He did tell her once when he had food poisoning that he was sick and said “because someone wanted to go on a date..” and she said “see relationships. Just not worth it.” But the convo kind of ended there and it was business as usual. What I saw about me was only positive and how happy he is with me. But she uses ❤️ non stop and he uses all these smiley emojis and I can’t help but be worried because of these dumb ass dreams that just feel all too real.

So I woke him up and talked to him. Didn’t tell him I snooped 😩 but I told him the truth about these dreams I’ve been having and about how I’ve seen their conversations when she says boo or I miss you and he said he thinks it’s just who she is as a person. Just overly friendly and doesn’t realize it could come across the way it does but that he understands why I’m uneasy about it. He says that if she just said these things to him or just called him boo he’d probably feel a little bit weirded out too but that she talks to all the people in the department this way- men and women alike.

In the conversations she did ask how I was and showed concern for some things I’ve been through. Never said anything bad.

I think I’m just insecure bc I gained weight during my pregnancy and miscarriage and surgery and I’ve not gotten back to where I need to or want to be. I feel like logically I know he would never cheat but my dreams are so vivid it puts my stomach in knots. Plus I know most affairs start in the workplace. I guess I’m worried that after 8 years he could get bored with me even though we are so happy and super sexually active.

Ladies I know it’s an insecurity. I know what I did was wrong. I know I’ll have to tell him (even though he’s always told me I’m welcome to read any conversations if I feel like I need to). Please don’t come on here to hate me. I’m just struggling with a lot of anxiety since the miscarriage and I worry about losing the happiness We have.

I should mention: they have to talk. They have to have conversations as they work closely together on projects. But I may ask that he talks to her about the “boo/babe/miss you” thing.