I'm so f*cking pissed at myself! Please don't judge me...I'm really trying😞

I want this baby,I love this baby already, I picture myself with this baby..but I can't afford my baby😭 my husband and I are already struggling as is we financially broken what else is there to sell in my house for extra cash😞 I feel like what have I done,why did I put us in this situation he wanted to use protection but I didn't then again he didn't say no either..I'm feeling so emotional,empty since I lost my mom and alone since I left my dad..I hate myself for feeling this way please please don't judge me I'm on the verge of breaking...