Is my SO using me?

Question

So many people say my BF is using me. I don't believe that is true. Yesterday he was frustrated because we wouldn't be able to move into an apartment at the end of the month because I was going for a better job. He got angry and drove off. He is currently unemployed but doesn't have a working car we only have one. He always makes sure I have a place to stay, food, etc. I love to spoil him when I have the money because I like making people happy. He never asks for anything I just give it. He used to share half of my checks with me, we spent his money for dates, etc. But because he gets frustrated a lot and uses my car and doesn't gave a job they say he is using me. I don't feel that way. Please tell me what is it like to be used. Am I being used?

Answer

If this were reversed...he had a job and you weren't working, I think a lot of people would say that he's supporting you, not that you're using him. Are you ok with this arrangement? If so, then fuck what everyone thinks. Enjoy your relationship. If you're not ok with it, tell him he needs to start actively seeking a job.

Answer

Well he doesn't have a job and is driving around in the only car you two have and wasting gas. I wouldn't stand for it. He better be looking for a job in that car and not just driving around to goof off and hangout with his buddies. If he wants to move out then he should have thought about being more adament on finding a job.

Answer

Yeah...it does sound that way. It also sounds like you are a bit naive which I used to be as well until I was take advantage of one too many times. Checks shouldn't be used for dates, they should be used for living. How old is he and how much of your own money do you spend on him? It sounds unfair and sharing a car isn't helpful at all in my opinion.

Answer

How does he always make sure you have "a place to stay, food, etc", when he has no money? It seems like you're supporting him, and he is throwing a hissy fit...and holding the car hostage because what if he threw a fit & drove off in the shared car as you were getting ready for work?

Answer

He needs to get a job....point blank. That's ridiculous....

Answer

Wait so he takes your car and peels out, you work and he doesn't and then he pouts like a child...? I wouldn't go as far as saying he's using you but he sure sounds like a child, I couldn't do it.

Answer

If he is using you you will figure it out eventually.. 
 For instance I was engaged to a man, my parents were mostly supporting me at the time, though I was working. and I was graduating college while he was just starting (a late starter) we ended up moving in together and for two months my parents and friends told me that his promising to choose a career and continuously changing his mind, and not contributing in anyway was irresponsible and he wasn't doing the right thing... I stuck by him, because he was in school and I wanted him to follow his dreams. Then he told me he was dropping out of school, and my parents withdrew their support(thank god) so we had to move back to our parents homes. Suddenly I realized that it wasn't going to work if he could never make up his mind. 
Fast forward, I met my current partner, the love of my life. 27 living in his parents basement (only a last year) selling plasma for whiskey and cigarettes..(so again I was the bread winner) And my parents thought "oh god here we go again" and yet, a little over a year later, he has a job he loves and is amazing at he supports us both and I'm the one who isn't really working.  Relationships are about supporting each other. If he is not supporting you, or willing to contribute than  maybe he isn't worth it. But only you can decide.. My parents loved the guy I was engaged to, and still don't like my partner..

Is my SO using me?

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