So in July I had my first miscarriage. I was almost 8 weeks along, but when I passed the baby it looked to be around 6 weeks gestation.

Got pregnant again straight away. Yay, right? It has been nerve-wracking, but my symptoms picked up this week, so I kinda had started to think I was in the clear. Then I wiped last night after using the toilet, and saw the worst thing.

Blood.

Again.

No cramping, but I didnt have cramping at first last time, either. So we rush to the ER. They do an ultrasound, and it is good news/bad news. They found two sacs. One has a baby with a heartbeat, and one without a fetal pole or heartbeat, that measured a week behind the other. HCG was 40,000. They said I was 6w2d, but that still worries me because I should be at least 7w1d. My midwife told me not to worry about that, but I still am. The ER labeled it as a subchorionic hemorrhage and put me on pelvic rest. Just want this little baby to hang in there. Sure, I want a big family, but not just in heaven. Having some on earth would be nice, too...

Feel emotionally drained and just not even sure what to think or do at this point. Yay that there is a baby in there still, but I am scared it wont stay. My first pregnancy with my almost-10 month old was perfect and uneventful and amazing. I loved being pregnant. Just would be nice to get to the point where I am not afraid to be happy about it. I had just been thinking everything was gonna be okay when I saw that blood again. So now Im just like...what is gonna happen next. Oy.