I was sexually abused as a child and it has led to certain issues when it comes to being physical with someone else. My big thing is that I can only handle someone's hands being down there on good days otherwise I completely panic when being touched down there. It is just really difficult for me to handle being touched down there whether it is sexual or for medical reasons. When I had my Pap smear I went home and cried. My husband is incredibly understanding of this and knows how private I am about the abuse. My issue is that I was able to come to grips with the ultrasound machine being used vaginally because no one ever physically put their fingers down or in there during that for me. Now we've reached a point where I'll be delivering in a few weeks and I'm completely freaking out. I want to cry just having to think about how often they'll do that while I'm in labor and the fact that my doctor will most likely have to check it once or twice before I go into labor as well. I feel violated and disgusting just knowing it going to happen. Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you handle it? I did not tell my doctor beforehand because I know that it doesn't change that they'll have to check my cervix. It just changes the way they treat me when they do that and I don't like that look I get when people know about it.