So I fell in love with a boy when I was in 8th grade. He despised me but we ended up going out in 11th grade. We were together for 1 year and 5 months. However I knew my parents wouldn't let us be friends if we broke up so we pretended we were still together for about 4-5 months. I had a sexual relationship with the boy and we were each other's firsts. Sadly I had a miscarriage a not too long ago. What he didn't tell me was that he had been going out with his ex girlfriend for two months. They also have a sexual relationship. I feel extremely heartbroken. I can't believe he didn't tell me that they were together and he cheated on her with me. She was upset but forgave him and is still with him. I'm in the worst condition of my life. I can hardly eat. I can only finish less than half a meal. Yesterday the little I was able to eat I threw it up. I have been in bed for about 19 hours. Still in the clothes I wore to school because I don't feel like I have the energy to take them off and I don't want to look at my body. He told me he loved my body and now I feel completely disgusted by it. I can hardly look at it anymore. He told me my hair was perfect and now I can only think about how badly I need to cut it. He told me to wait until the end of summer to see if we would get back together only for him to be with another. I cry everywhere. I cry at home, I cry on my way to school, I cry at school. I still have feelings for him. I know I'll get better eventually but it's hard. I have fevers and headaches because I'm not eating much and I try holding back tears. I can hardly drink anything as well. I feel exhausted and I keep thinking about him as much as I try not to. Since I'm in college I'm not in school much and I feel like that's good for me now so I won't have to fake a smile throughout the day. Another thing is that I'm not sure if I'm pregnant or not. I feel like a huge idiot and a slut. To anyone that actually bothered to read all of this thank you. I really appreciate it.