The question everyone asks of "Why aren't you pregnant yet?"

Question

I had to vent. I unfortunately try and avoid social situations because I'm usually asked about kids etc. I've just gone through my first <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> freeze all cycle after numerous other failed treatments and 2 years of TTC.

Friday night I was out and had one person say "I thought you'd be nursing a baby by now. Whats wrong with you?". And yesterday again someone said "You don't have any babies yet do you? You working on it? You can't be working too hard!".

I was nearly in tears to hubby after both situations and spoke to a friend last night to help me. Gosh it hurts so badly. I wish i had the nerve to answer back considering they asked the question! How do you ladies deal with this?

Answer

You know what upsets me even more is when some people ask when do we plan to have a family?! What does that mean? My husband and I are already a family!! Do you have to have a baby to be called a family? People with no sense of boundaries and talking just to talk are driving me crazy too.

Answer

I've resorted to "if you'd like to donate the money to pay for the science needed to build my family I'd be happy to share that information with you." Admittedly I only said that once, but the look on her face was priceless.

Answer

I have a coworker who has been going through fertility treatments for 2 years now - openly. When people ask those questions, she's quite honest about it: 3 failed iuis, 2 egg retrievals, 2 frozen transfers, about $50,000 spent, zero baby to date
She doesn't do this to be rude or make the other person uncomfortable-but after so many quiet cries she's had after yet another person asks her, she's just found her voice and is more comfortable with being upfront

Answer

I get so annoyed at questions like this! It's none of their business what you do with your uterus. But you know what, this might be a learning moment for them. Give them a brief "I've been trying for X amount of years with IVF etc. it's hard but I'm still trying." And this more then likely will put them in a more awkward position and make them feel like a total jack ass lol.

Answer

Tell the truth hun I'll bet that some of the others asking are going through, or know someone who is going through the same thing. I hope you get that baby that you deserve soon.

Answer

Ugh, it sucks! I get this all the time too. My in-laws, my mom, my sister, my good friend. They all are like, you better get to trying. What are you waiting for? I even get, you better hurry cuz you are getting older. We have been trying since last October, so almost a year 😥 My first was easy to conceive but that was 6 years ago. I always thought that this would be as easy too. It just hurts that people do not know what you are going through, yet make comments. I'm definitely trying hard for this baby!

Answer

I honestly say we will when we are ready. It cut the conversation short and I change the subject.

The question everyone asks of "Why aren't you pregnant yet?"

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