I don't know hot to feel

Nicolette

First off this will probably be long so sorry in advance. So I don't usually post things on here but I just don't have anyone I feel I can talk to without being judged. I recently graduated this year from high school and I am going to go to college but I haven't started yet or applied to community college yet. It's not that I'm procrastinating or just not wanting to. Just with how things got with my family the past few years while it is on my mind it's not what I'm most worried about. But with that being said it also kills me inside that I'm not out there furthering my education so that I can hurry and get into a university so I can pursue my dreams to be a psychiatrist. I know that I have my reasons for not being in school yet and while they are valid reasons I also feel like I'm failing and that I'm not only disappointing my parents but also my boyfriend and more importantly myself. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel...