So I was with my ez for almost 4 years. In the beginning it was all good. We didnt have much money but we made it work. Plus i had 2 kids that he stepped up and helped take care of. I should have left the first time we fought cuz he thought ideas texting other guys. we physically fought over the phone and he called the cops on me at my house. I know most ppl sat give him the ohine if I had nothing to hide but its the principle of the matter. He honestly didnt trust me from day 3 based in his past relationships. Anyway fast forward the violence didn't get worse but not better. The last straw was when he put a knife to my throat and raped me then convinced me he was gonna kill me. I begged him to let me say goodbye to my kids but he refused. I finally convinced him not to and he instead decided he was gonna kill himself. Long story short I got away and ive been single since. Here is why I ask am I crazy. I took a month to grieve and now I feel free. I have been having sex like crazy with different guys. I always tell myself ain't nothing wring with it cuz I'm free and single to do as I please. but I'm getting lonely. I want someone to love and cuddle with me and just open up but dont know if I want go be tied down again. I love being in love but I LOVE a variety of sex with diffrrent people. ANYWHO am I crazy or no