My husband has been all about money for the last 9 years of our marriage. Back in 2014 it was me who had to have a job while we were both going to school living with my mother in law. When I left him and moved back to our hometown and we got back together yes I made him get a job while I worked full time (I had failed out of school) lately it's like I have to work two jobs, I have to clean the house and take care of our two kids. He doesn't have to clean or if I ask him to change a diaper or feed our 1 1/2 year old he complains and bitches. Middle of august I quite my job at the daycare I was working at and I'm now a crossing guard for 12 hours a week making $10/h. I'm not making enough so I need to find something to do on top of that. I'm so overwhelmed I quite my daycare job because I only came home and slept it felt like. I've tried suicide twice about three weeks ago and both failed (he didn't know but he knew I was sick af both days after). But I'm so overwhelmed that I have to do everything and he only has to work 40 hours a week and sleep all day and play games all night. Ive even been trying to ask him why can't we stop using our credit cards and saving where we can so we don't keep drowning in debt. But he said he'll pay them off but not close the accounts. And he can go buy a box of magic cards and freak out if I want to buy something. I just traded MY ps vita that I haven't used in months for a MacBook and he is flipping out that I'm spending all this money. This is the text he sent me.

Your getting all this crap when we need money and we arent getting money in fed up with not having any money. And for how little you work the house should have already been clean. Ive been trying for two months to get is clean clothes when I have some time. But I am so drained stressing and worrying about money when we cant make our bills as is abd in 10 or so ill be out of a job. Its killing me and its like you don't care. Im glad you got something nice yet again but what about the family me keeping a roof over our house. Better take care of that and your sims better work on that because sometimes if you get it for PC its not mac compatible

I've been trying to keep the house cleaned too but it's not 100% clean, and honestly no I haven't done laundry like I normally do. But the loads he did are still in the basket in the kitchen waiting to be folded and put away. I'm just sick and tired of feeling like I'm the bad guy. And Sunday I got so overwhelmed from him yelling at our two kids and our dog over stupid stuff. Our daughter getting into this or that, our son being told to shut up because he's noisy or being told to stop because he's doing something annoying to his dad.

Am I seriously in the wrong or what? I don't know what to do anymore I love my kids but I'm so tired of living I don't even want to live for them anymore either. Please no hate to bad I'm already bawling my eyes out.