Don't really know how to start this, but going to try to make it short and simple. This is my first post ever, other than when it all happened, I posted on Facebook, because the walls wouldn't talk back, and that just seems to be my way of coping sometimes, but I have an adorable, healthy, 12 yr old little boy who was born 3 days after Christmas, back in 2004. Not long after having him, I started having health issues that led to many different doctors appts, ect. When he was 5, I was diagnosed with the early stages of cervical cancer, but with treatment, they said it should've been no problem to keep it from progressing and being able to get rid of it. But after all the procedures and biopsies, they said I had too much scar tissue and that I'd probably never be able to conceive another child. So within the last 12 yrs, I've only taken one birth control pill, and once in what I thought was going to be a committed relationship with whoever, at that time in my life, I didn't use any type of birth control or contraceptives....still, no pregnancies. Then August of 2013, I had a series of strokes, two mini strokes, and a mild heart attack, when I was told I have a hole in my heart that I was born with, yet had no clue until I stroked out at 28. Since my son was born, I've been told by 3 diff docs, no more babies. Then back in February, I found out we were prego with a miracle baby. Then on March 15th, go in for an ultrasound, and they couldn't find the heartbeat. Our baby had gained it's wings. D&C; on the 31st...couldn't pass naturally because it was "too big". Been trying ever since, and nothing... Don't understand, why did it take 12 yrs to have let me conceive just to take it from me? And if it's so easy once you've already had one, or the chance of having one, why not a positive result yet? I was better off thinking I'd never have another...God must think I'm a bad ass to put me thru that test. Had it not been for my 12 yr old, I wouldn't be here to post this...😢😭😢😭