Hi Ladies, I'm new to glow and it seems like a great community for me to be transparent!!!!

I was diagnosed with PCOS pretty much around 16 (I'm 30 now). I have never ever had a consistent period pretty much since period age. You know the DR's think your young so they really don't give you anything to stabilize it. It wasn't until around 18 my Dr. gave me metformin to take, he truly believed I could have been cured by taking it for 6 months straight. I would take it one day and then forget about it, like I do with almost any medicine. Anyways skip forward to currently. I'm married to my best friend it will be 3 years in Dec. we have been actively TTC since last Oct. (2016). I have to take progesterone every cycle to get a period. Before seriously trying I didn't have AF for 1 year straight. We had 2 rounds of Clomid and one round of Femara. We had 2 <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">iui</a>, 2 trigger shot and our first BFP in April 2017, had a blighted Ovum and D&C; in May 2017 (we were 7weeks)and since then I have been depressed. My depression has now intensified when we got the results of the tissue testing from our D&C; and the Dr said it was a girl (what I pray for daily) and everything was normal, she said "sometimes we are not sure why the body miscarries", all I wanted to do was slap her 🤦🏾‍♀️. I stopped going to the RE after the D&C; and I'm not sure when I will return.

No one seems to understand what I am feeling like, I want to do nothing all day long. I stay in the bed and watch YouTube, I search for every possible thing on google and cry all day long. My hubby is looking at the bright side and saying for us to even have a positive was a huge deal so we should take it as things are moving in a great direction 😐. My parents and sisters just don't understand, plus they are overjoyed right now with my younger sisters baby (1st grandchild, 1st nephew) and I have no other friends to talk with. I got so frustrated with being this way for 4 months now that I booked a trip to Thailand and went by myself. (Hubby was supportive and face timed me daily. I just got back yesterday 4 days early) Y'all I'm really trying to put a smile on and move forward with life but how am I supposed to do that when all I want is a baby?

P.S- I came home early because my period started on it's own in Thailand for the 1st time in years ( 1st period since D&C;, and it was a full cycle) and my ovulation window opens today according to Glow🤗🤗 I'm also taking Vitex now for about 2 weeks so let's see how it works!!!!