Ok so before I start this y’all need to know I am a strong believer in Jesus Christ and my husband and I are regular Church attendees.

Ok so, on and off our whole marriage my husband has struggled with porn and an extreme lying problem. I have tried watching porn with him, but could not do it. It literally made me physically ill. I’ve tried making our own videos. He recorded me giving him a bj on his birthday 3 weeks ago and he had multiple pictures of me naked.

I just looked at his history on his phone the day after his birthday, and found A TONE of porn on his phone. Now, this is a problem because 1) that is lusting over another woman 2) he watches it as soon as he knows I’m asleep, whether we have had sex multiple times that day or not 3) his desire for me is like a 0. I always start sex. Sex only lasts maybe 10 minutes then it’s right back to his phone

This has completely ruined my self image

So we talked and fought over it. He says never again I won’t do it again. I looked 2 days ago and he’s been watching it EVERYDAY since then. We had had sex on the 20th and he watched sex the same night at 3am while in bed right next to me.

I feel so self conscious and unloved.

We are going to start counseling but how do you forgive this and the lying over and over.

To me, this is an addiction. He has been leaving his phone with me at night and I’ve been turning off the internet box so he cannot sneak it.