So, I'm debating on getting a toy for myself (it would be my first!) and I can't seem to convince myself one way or the other. I like the idea of having one, but I'm a bit ashamed to buy one.

I want one for obvious reasons; I love the idea of self pleasure, especially since I live so far from my boyfriend. I have the money to buy one if I want, and I could definitely make good use out of whatever I decide to buy.

Here's why I'm skeptical:

I live on my own with a roommate, so I get my own mail. But my monthly bank report goes to my mother's house, and she has no sense of privacy. I'm afraid that if she reads my mail, she will see the purchase and freak out! I'm also terrified of spending too much money (#PoorKidForLife).

I'm an adult and I shouldn't be afraid or feel ashamed of these things. Yet I can't find it in myself to go through with the idea, nor back out of it.

Help? Any advice or tips would be awesome.