This probably isn’t the place to share this, but I needed some support, and this community has been nothing but. Please note there are some trigger warnings in this.

Years ago, when I was in still young and full of hope, I never would have thought I would have grown up like this. This.. this mess. I was diagnosed with severe depressive disorder from the age of 12. I have gained many more diagnoses, ranging from anxiety to BPD (borderline personality disorder) to bipolar. I have been quite a train wreck as of recent. On and off my meds, not doing the best I can at work, and over all hating myself. I look at myself in the mirror and help but to think about how overweight I am, how much I hate my body, how much I hate myself. But with that first picture (the picture ma being taken hours apart), you would never think about that. Never think about the lack of self confidence, never think about my crippling depression, never think about my incessant promiscuity over the years with more guys than I even remember, never think that I have attempted suicide at least four times, as I have lost count, that I’ve been in and out of mental hospitals my junior and senior year, making it almost impossible to graduate.

But I did it. I did it, and not for me, because I don’t believe in myself yet, but for my sister. My mother. My whole future of what I have in store for me, what lies ahead.

But as of right now, I’m fixing myself. Im on my meds. Im working hard. Im going to the gym for Pete’s sake, as I was the fat girl in the back of the gym class that took the whole 50 minute period to run the mile. And the best part?

Im doing it for me.

Thank you for every who read and please comment some words of encouragement, as I need them right about now.