Anyone have a hard 1st labour but go on to have more babies?

Lo

Always wanted to have more than 1 baby, and always planned on trying to conceive not too long after the first so that they could grow up similar age (I was close in age to my brother and it was great, we were close and got to play together etc.).

My son is now 6 weeks old, and obviously I know I shouldn't be trying yet anyway, but regardless of that I'm now scared of going through the whole experience again.

My sex drive is 0 - I had such a difficult birth, I had to be induced, was in hospital for 5 days (the norm is 24hrs here), baby's heart rate kept dropping with my contractions and after 16 hours of labour a team of about 10 doctors / surgeons etc burst in the room prepping to take me to surgery, Dr managed to yank baby out with episiotomy and forceps at the last minute. I lost a lot of blood, baby's head was cut, it was just a horrendously traumatic experience. (Longer story but would take to long to type).

And now I'm just so scared to go through it again, and I've heard it's really hard to get an elective c-section on NHS (UK), but even if I could get one I know it would be longer recovery and so how would I manage looking after a newborn and a young child?

I'm not alone but my husband works.

I'm just upset about it all and it's making me not want sex at all.

Anyone else have a hard 1st labour but go on to have more children and what was the experience like the second time? We're you scared? How long after your first?