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I lost my first born my son 9 years ago he was born premature and didn't survive. We have a 6 year old daughter and pregnant with our 3 child. I'm so scared of losing this baby and I am extremely over protective mom of my 6 year old but after the medical problems I have and such complicated pregnancies we have decided when I have my scheduled c section this time I am getting my tubes tied. Yes I have that fear of something happening to my daughter and even if my unborn child right now but after losing my son I have learned the pain and fear never go away and having more children do not fill the void. It is yours and your husbands decision to make. Mine has been hard decision to make I love being a mom more than anything. Growing up all I pictured was having a large family. But I am truly blessed for what I god has given me. It is a tough place to be in. I know the fear never goes away ever
Husband wants a vasectomy
My husband and I lost our first son in a car crash about 2.5yr ago.... I was determined to have another baby right away to fill the empty nursery, and we did, another boy. Our second son will be 2 in July... He was a preemie because I had gotten pregnant so soon after the car crash, I didn't give my body time to heal from my injuries.
Now my husband is determined to have a vasectomy after the birth of our next (third) child. I'm nervous because I don't want to have this third child and something happen. (Another car crash? SIDS?....)
Has anyone else lost a baby, continued having a family, and then closed that door for good?
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I was told by a nurse you shouldn't let anyone get 'fixed' until your last wanted child is two. I personally know someone who's partner had a vasectomy as soon as they found out their 3rd baby was a boy and she had a fullterm stillborn baby and regrets letting him get 'sniped'.
AS
I hesitate to "like" the comment. Bc there is nothing to like about a still born-- but this is good advice to wait until a child is at least 2.
I am also so sorry to hear about your loss. I would approach it from another angle- maybe a less permanent choice than a vasectomy. Maybe offer that you would get an IUD. It is over 98% effective and can be taken out when and if you decide to have more kids. They also have non hormonal IUD's if that's more your style. I totally understand your concern, and I hate the idea of something so permanent!! I worked at a urology office and it was incredibly surprising how many vasectomies we did there.
I'm so sorry for your loss 😢 I don't have any experience there, but I think your husband might be just as scared of another loss as you are, but feeling it in a different way. He might be worried that if you try again after this baby, there's just that much more of a chance of a repeat. One thing to keep in mind is that vasectomies are reversible, so in a worst case scenario, you could ask him to reverse it.
AS
Hypothetically they are reverse able. But he is so anxious about the procedure to have it done that he probably wouldn't have the nerve to reverse it. This will be my third c-section (which he seems pretty ok with! Lol)
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