My husband and I are going through the hardest time in our lives together at the moment. This month has been an absolute nightmare as things changed so drastically, so quickly. I was happy and healthy with my first pregnancy in March, excited for april to arrive so we could have the 20 week scan on the first of the month, and see our little creation again, but that day was the worst day I could have ever imagined. When we went, the sonographer saw some things she wasn't happy with - she only mentioned two things, but we know now, there was a list of concerns. She was worried about the baby's heart, and the baby's overall size. She referred us to the fetal medicine department. A week or so later, we met with a fetal medicine specialist, who agreed that there was something to be concerned about with our baby and she suggested that they perform an amniocentesis, a procedure where they stick a large needle into my belly to withdraw amniotic fluid so they can conduct chromosomal tests. We had the procedure done. We got the test results back about a week later, and our baby's prognosis wasn't good. We were told our baby had Edwards syndrome or trisomy 18. A rare and terrible chromosomal defect that highly affects the baby's survival. We were told that our baby would probably not make it to full term gestation, and on the off chance it did survive that long, the chances of it making it through labour were even smaller. It is so rare for a child to survive the labour process, the doctors told us this defect was in no way compatible with life. They said our baby was suffering due to the heart defect, it was struggling to keep going. This whole time, we had not wanted to know if I was carrying a little boy or girl, but we finally decided with the risk of baby dying being so eminent, we had to know. We went in for a scan to check up on how the baby was doing on Friday the 17th of april. We found out it was a girl. But her heart had stopped. She had passed so soon after the diagnosis it was so unreal. The Doctors told us they would induce my labour on Sunday the 19th. That whole weekend I walked around like a zombie, knowing I was carrying my poor little girl, dead, who I was suppose to protect and keep safe. Sunday, we went to the hopital, they began the process. Monday morning, the 20th of april, I delivered the most beautiful little girl. We named her Chloe Elizabeth. She was so tiny, but so perfect. 10 fingers, 10 toes, a little button nose. It was hard to believe that there was anything really wrong. We loved her even more when we finally saw her and were able to hold her. I'm heart broken that we'll never be able to bring her home, and the moments we had holding her, are the only ones we'll have. Planning a funeral for your baby has to be one of the hardest things anyone will ever have to do.