How much more can my body handle?!?😢

Pamela • Son Patrick 3/6/06. Chemical pregnancy 11/2016. Baby girl/boy twins Liliana and Alexander 11/7/17

I had an emergency c section at 21, laparoscopy at 24, double mastectomy at 26, 3 reconstructions between 26-31, laparoscopy at 32.... so this twin pregnancy should be a breeze right? I don't know how much more my body can take and I feel like since I hit the 3rd trimester all I do is cry. I was so sick the beginning I couldn't hold down water. I ended up in the ER twice and put on bed rest 3 times. I couldn't eat but forced myself to eat small healthy meals so that the babies would get what they needed. Once I was prescribed diclegis things got a little better but not much. I have had several migraines, which I had prior to being pregnant but now I have nothing but my home remedies to help. I was put back on modified bed rest at 27 weeks or as my head OB calls it "Princess Duty." At 28 week I was told I have polyhydramnios with my son (Twin B) and I started weekly appointments with both the perinatal specialist and my OB. His fluid hasn't leveled out but after many tests they ruled out anything major.

Yesterday I turned 32 weeks. I now for the first time in my life have external hemorrhoids which nothing helps bc I now I have to take Hemax for my low blood count. I am breaking out all over my face and neck. For the past week I wake up with pain in my left hand mainly my fingers which I can I can only assume is arthritis. My fingers are swollen so my engagement ring won't go on and my wedding band won't come off. Despite only gaining 18 lbs I have some pretty big babies in me. Last week my daughter was 3lb 14oz and my son 4lbs 7oz. I have bruises ribs on the right side and strong pelvic pressure. Although they both have anteria placentas they kick so hard I cry. My other son was an ounce shy of 9lbs when he was born and I don't remember anything like this. I think the hardest part is that I can't breathe. I feel like I'm having an ongoing asthma attack. It's bad when we sit, even worse when I lay. I spend most of time in a recliner where I also need to sleep. I just ant to breathe again. I have multiple episodes of dizzy spells and now my doctor doesn't even want me to shower with out my husband home. He also recommends me not leaving my house unless it's to the doctors. And now 3 days ago I started throwing up again after meals. I'm scheduled for 38 and and I want them to stay in as long as possible but I am physically, mentally and emotionally drained. I cry bc I want them out but then I cry bc I'm being selfish by wanting them out. I miss sleeping next to my husband and doing things with my son. I feel like my body is just going to give out at any moment 😭

Anyone else feeling this way?