Irrational Rant

I am so pissed at my SO and my parents right now. I hate pacifiers. I think they're disgusting and I never wanted to give one to any child of mine. When my son was an infant, my parents convinced me it wasn't so bad and that he "really enjoyed it" so I let him have one. Well now I am freaking paying for it. As if insomnia and heartburn weren't enough, just as I was almost able to calm down to go to sleep my toddler wakes up and has been crying for the past hour. I cuddled him, I patted his back, I turned on his night light musical projector thing, as soon as I walked away or took my hand off of him he started screaming again. Finally I got so frustrated I gave him the pacifier, and he's been quiet ever since. I'm mad at my SO because he's only home 4 days a month, and my son NEVER does this when he's home!!!! Why is it that I alone get the pleasure of dealing with this? UGH!!! Why did I let people talk me into letting this happen!!! I know it's my own fault, I should have stuck to my guns, but I'm just so frustrated and tired and irritated with everybody. And now I can't sleep again. 😤😭😩😪😫😡😥 ok. End rant. Just needed to get it out somewhere.