At 36 weeks I didn't know

How scared I would be, as monthly countdowns turned into days left countdowns.

How worried I would be about any little cramp or slight discomfort being the start of contractions.

The dreams I would have that feel so real and have so much detail that reguardless how many times I wake up to relieve myself during the night I fall back into. Some of those dreams being nightmares about birth and some being so pointless but lasting all night.

I didn't realize how ugly I would feel, no desire to do my makeup, my hair, or even match my socks.

How much it would bother me every time someone asks " how'd your appointment make out" I mean their appointments I will never know how to answer that question other than a a "goood?".

I didn't realize how badly I'd want to get out of the house, but more so how badly I'd want to get right back in as soon as I stepped out.

I didn't realize how many more people want to act "friendly" with you.

It was possible to pee 14 times in one night.

I didnt realize how fast the time would go by.

Or how slow the last couple of weeks feel.

You know that feeling you got as a child when you played hide and go seek and you knew someone was going to jump out and say boo at any time and turn? The suspenseful just waiting to be scared feeling? I didn't realize thats exactly how I'd feel every day about going into labor early

I didn't realize all the things that would change.

Never invisioned my 120 pound self at almost 200 pounds.

Never knew those little kicks would lift my spirits so much.

And when I have my baby,

( if I don't have a panic attack and die )

I'm sure the last thing I'll come to realize is how much you can love something at first sight.

Cal, I cant wait to meet you in approx. 27 days. 💙