Feeling like a shitty person

Lupe

I feel like a horrible person because after I ovulate i pray every day multiple times night and day and then when i feel cramps or anything i start to blame god and i know thats so bad but i cant help to think why is he doing this to me?? Does he not want me to be happy?? My period is due 10/10 and im 10dpo today.... Im going to keep praying and test tomorrow please send baby dust and encouraging words because i feel like im out this month and like a horrible horrible person...