**UPDATE** Pregnancy was confirmed Friday the 13th with my doctor, and was told my EDD is the 19th! ***It's crazy how in just a few short days, the excitement and joy turn into fear and sadness. Monday evening I had brown disharge, and from what I had read and what the doctors had told me, was normal. I had some minor cramping but I honestly just thought it was gas(it had been bad) so I cuddled up to my husband, watched tv and prayed that it would pass and be brief. I woke up yesterday morning, in pain. I called my husband to the bathroom, and as his eyes met mine he seen the panic that was running through me as he seen the deep red lying on the toilet paper. He told me to get dressed and we were off to the ER. I was brought back fairly quickly, and I was in a more private room. 3 hours. It was the longest hours of my life as I had lost the life that had just began. The excitement that I felt just days prior were now turned into grief. The joy I had felt, turned into fear. My first pregnancy was short, and even tho I will never know why, I can say that I have loved more than I could ever think was possible. My heart is heavy, my brain is exhausted and my body hurts. Your beginning mattered to me and your end will stay with me forever. Tomorrow I will release balloons and I will see you in my dreams. I love you baby Blu.